Knock on Wood

Someday we are going to get to heaven and we are going to learn that “knocking on wood” really does work and all of our bad luck happened because we forgot to “knock on wood.”  Last week we had some pretty bad luck and it’s all my fault.  I kept saying, “Jaron’s doing really great and we get to have a nice Thanksgiving week before Jaron starts treatment.”  Well, the universe heard me and saw there was no wood knocking and decided to send us another curve ball.  Thanks universe!  I will be careful what I say in the future!

It all started Tuesday night before Thanksgiving.  Jaron noticed that his digestive system wasn’t well.  At first he thought it was something he ate but it continued all through Wednesday.  We thought for sure he would feel better on Thanksgiving, but he woke up Thursday feeling just as bad.  He hadn’t eaten anything in a couple of days but he was still unwell.  Poor guy spent Thanksgiving in bed, missing all of his favorite foods and his mom’s pies.  I took the kids over to Jaron’s brother’s house and we had a nice dinner.  At this point, I was very worried about Jaron.  It was hard to enjoy the holiday but the kids had a good time and that is most important.  When I woke up Friday morning, I knelt down to pray.  In my prayer I said, “Heavenly Father, I don’t know how to help Jaron but you do.  Please help me to know what to do.”  After I finished, Jaron walked in and said he was having chest pains.  It became very clear to me that I needed to get Jaron help.  So I quickly fed the kids and got us all dressed.  I settled them with a show and arranged for their grandparents to pick them up.  I put Jaron in the car and we drove to the University Hospital ER.  By the time we got there, Jaron was having a lot of pain in his chest.  Thankfully they got us in quickly but alas, it was to a small bed.  This is what Jaron’s feet look like in those beds.  

The emergency room seems like a slow moving, very uncomfortable place.  We were there all day.  Gratefully, we had a room.  It was so busy that day that patients were being treated in the hall.  So at least we got to close the door.  After doing a CT scan, they learned that Jaron had some big blood clots in his lungs.  When we got this news, I just cried.  I thought we were coming to the ER to get some type of treatment like antibiotics for his stomach ailment.  Instead now we were talking about blood clots and being admitted.  This felt scary. The Oncology team at Huntsman wanted to take over Jaron’s care so they transferred us from the University Hospital to Huntsman in an ambulance.  By this time Jaron was in so much pain.  It hurt every time he took a breath.  The pain was barely being touched by painkillers.  When they loaded Jaron into the ambulance, he looked terrible.   They had me ride with him.  As we drove, I looked out the back window and cried.  I kept thinking, “I didn’t know this was going to be our life.”  They got Jaron settled into a very nice room at Huntsman.  Finally Jaron had a bed that was long enough.  It was so nice to see him stretched out comfortable.  

The first task was to get the pain under control.  What had started as a dull pain grew to an all consuming, excruciating pain.  Jaron couldn’t breath very easy because it hurt to breath.  They put him on oxygen and gave him two types of pain meds.  That was the name of the game for Friday and Saturday: trying to control the pain.  It was a rough 48 hours.  They determined that Jaron had had a similar thing like a heart attack or stroke but in his lungs.  He had dead tissue in his lungs and his lungs couldn’t open up fully.  I really hate blood clots.  The treatment is slow.  He still has to be on the blood thinner shots and has to be on oxygen until he can keep his oxygen levels up.  While we were there, they learned that Jaron has an infection called c-Diff.  This is something that shows up in people who have a weakened immune system, often people who have been in a hospital and been on antibiotics.  This is why Jaron had been sick for a few days.  They started Jaron on treatment and he has felt relief.  After four days, Jaron’s pain was under control and so we were able to go home.  Oh, it is good to be home.  

Though Jaron had had such a rough week, they still wanted him to start his treatment.  So Monday night he took his first chemo.  He had a rough night, feeling nauseous and having a bad headache.  The next day he went to radiation.  It caused some burning sensation and a clogged ear.  Jaron was pretty discouraged because he had been told that most people don’t feel symptoms for the first couple of weeks and he was already feeling pretty sick.  After 5 days of having a bad headache, they put Jaron on a different type of anti nausea medicine, hoping this will help his headaches.  Thankfully, the nausea has calmed down, too.  Knock on wood, but Jaron seems to be feeling better and we will hopefully have a few good days.  

I was thinking about gratitude this week.  On Thanksgiving, it was hard to feel thankful when life was falling apart.  Seeing Jaron so sick just broke my heart.  How do I feel gratitude when everything is so bad?   I thought about how in the scriptures we learn to “give thanks in all things.”  I am so glad it doesn’t say “give thanks FOR all things” but “IN all things.”  I wouldn’t be able to say I am thankful for the things in my life like Jaron’s cancer or his rough recovery.  But I can be grateful IN all things, meaning whatever I am going through, I can find things to be grateful.  That I can do.  I am so grateful to my sister Stalee who rushed to the ER to be with me when we heard the bad news.  I am grateful for my sister Judi for having my kids overnight when we learned we would be admitted.  I am grateful for my brother and his wife, JB and Laura, for coming to the hospital so JB could give Jaron a blessing.  I am grateful to my mom for coming back from St. George early to run my life at home.  I am grateful to all the kind family and friends who stepped up and covered for me while we were gone.  I am grateful for the medical staff that took such good care of Jaron.  I am grateful for the many prayers that went up in Jaron’s behalf.  I am very grateful to the many generous souls who have donated to help us cover medical bills.  I am most grateful for the guidance and comfort that came from the Lord.  When I look at it this way, I can see that I do have a lot to be grateful for.  “In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thes. 5:18).
Love you all,
Joni

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