The Beginning of Our Adventures

Recently I was talking with my uncle, telling him about a funny experience that had happened to my family.  He said something like, “Life is all about getting material for a good story.”  So here I write about the “material” we have been getting recently, and it is quite the story!  

Around six months ago, Jaron started telling me he was having trouble communicating.  He would be in a conversation, and his mind would go blank.  He wouldn’t know what they were talking about.  Or he would have an experience where he couldn’t get out the words he wanted to say.  This would happen for a minute or two and then would go away.  He always was aware of who he was and where he was.  He would just have an “episode” where he couldn’t communicate or was confused.  This went on for quite a while, but not until recently did I actually witness it.  It happened at home two times.  When I saw what was going on, I knew it was more than just getting older.  Something was wrong.  So we set up an appointment with his doctor.  The day of the appointment was the sad day that my dad passed away.  Jaron rescheduled his appointment so he could be with me on this very hard day. 

We went to the doctor a few days later.  The doctor didn’t seem very concerned but thought it was a good idea to get an MRI.  So we scheduled that.  During this time we had the funeral for my father, which was a beautiful tribute to this great man.  Two days after his funeral, it was clear that something was going on with my mother-in-law, Malinda.  One side of her face was drooping and her speech was slurred.  They took her to the emergency room, only to discover that she had a brain tumor.  What a shock!  This seemed unreal.  It has only been 6 years since her daughter, Amy, passed away after having 3 brain tumors over a 10 year period.  And now they were having to do it all over again!  It was devastating and heartbreaking.  Because Jaron’s MRI fell on the same day as his mother having brain surgery, we postponed his test and put our focus on Malinda.  We were grateful that all seemed to go well with surgery and she is recovering well.  Her cancer treatments will start after she has healed from surgery. 

It finally worked out that we got Jaron in for an MRI.  It was in the evening and we were the only one’s at the facility.  Jaron went in with the technician and I sat in some chairs nearby.  While they were in there, a man walked past and entered the room with the technician.  He was in their for quite a while.  When he walked out, he gave me a kind, but sad smile.  My stomach dropped.  My anxiety went through the roof.  Something was wrong and he knew it!  When Jaron came out, he said to the technician, “Do I have a brain tumor?”  She said, “Well, all I can say is you have a brain.”  Jaron explained about his mom and sister.  She said, “Oh, so there is a family history?  Well, I am not a doctor, so I can’t say anything, but I am sure you will be contacted tomorrow and will need some further testing.”  That was all she could tell us.  So we walked to the car and I cried.  Something was wrong and we had to wait, but we knew something was wrong!  We decided to not worry the kids before we knew anything, so we wiped our eyes, went home and had a normal night.  I didn’t sleep that night more than a couple hours.  I was so sick with worry of what could be wrong.  

The next day we were told that Jaron’s doctor wanted to talk to us in person and he couldn’t see us until 2:30pm that day.  Oh the torture to wait the whole day!  Jaron went to work and I did my normal mom stuff, but we were both DYING inside!  Finally the appointment came.  And we were floored to learn that Jaron too had a brain tumor.  His is on the left side, in the communication part of the brain.  It is the size of a silver dollar.  The radiologist’s impression is that it is cancerous.  WHAT A SHOCK!  Could this really be happening?  We just couldn’t quite understand it!  Our first step was to make an appointment with the neurosurgeon.  Next, we made a plan.  The kids had a lot of fun activities that day so we decided to wait until that evening to tell the kids.  Then, we decided to go to Jaron’s parents’ house.  We had to tell them the sad news that Jaron also has a brain tumor.  Such hard news to share.  We left there and again put on brave faces and had a normal night for the next few hours.  At the end of the day, we gathered our children together and said a family prayer.  Then we told them about Jaron.  It was as sad as you can imagine.  There were a lot of tears, hugs, crying, “I love you’s”.  It was a tender moment.  We decided that the next day needed to be a family day.  What better way to spend the day together than to go to the zoo!  With those fun plans set, and with tears in our eyes, the kids finally went to bed.   I fell asleep easy but woke up at 1:30 am in a panic.  All of the fear of what was happening was coming so strong, I thought I might go hysterical.  Then I remembered my dad.  When he couldn’t sleep, he would say lists.  He would say the names of the presidents of the United States, or the kings and queens of England.  I didn’t know any of those but I do know the songs for the prophets of the church, the 50 states, and the preamble.  So I followed my dad’s example, and I went through those lists.  When I was done, the panic was gone and I felt calm.  I didn’t go back to sleep, but was so grateful that I wasn’t in a panic.  Thanks dad for being by me in those dark hours! 

The next day we drove to the zoo and spent a perfect day together.  The fall leaves were beautiful.  The weather was so nice.  The crowds were small.  We slowly walked around, holding hands, and enjoyed the fun animals.  It was the best day and we felt so close to be together.   The kids were kids for a little while and the worries of our life seemed to go to the back of our minds as we just enjoyed this time.  It was the best. 

Friday we met with the neurosurgeon.  He felt that our first MRI was not enough information for him to make a plan.  He ordered us to do a contrasting MRI (where they use dye to help see it more clearly) and scheduled for us to come back on Monday at 4pm.  Jaron and I left that appointment and went to our favorite sushi restaurant in Layton and had a delicious lunch.  We laughed cause it seems hard to find something to talk about.  Memories seem too tender.  The future seems too uncertain.  The present is so painful.  But we managed to have a nice lunch together.  And we made some plans for the now.  That night Jaron did an MRI and we are waiting for the results. 

I decided the number one thing on our list was to get family pictures.  Usually I spend a week planning something like this.  I had less than 24 hours!  Thankfully we were able to get my cousin’s wife, McKenzie Haws, to take our pictures.  She is so busy with teaching school and with 3 little kids, but she was so kind to make time for us.  I cut Jaron’s hair, curled the girls hair, quickly picked out outfits for everyone, and ran to my sweet neighbor’s house to get me a haircut.  It was a whirlwind of a day, but we pulled it off.  I look forward to seeing the pictures and know they will be a treasure forever.  

Today was such a sweet day.  We have many family, friends, and our ward who fasted for us.  It is an overwhelming feeling to have so many people praying for you and supporting you.  It makes me cry happy tears when I think of it.  Jaron and I decided to both get up in church and share our feelings.  We thanked the ward, gave a little update, and bore our testimonies of our Savior.  He truly is carrying our burden and strengthening us during this time.  We love Him and are so grateful He is by our side through all of this.  God is Great! 

Tomorrow is Jaron’s appointment and so we will hopefully know more then.  But we are at peace that whatever will come, we will be ok.  We are surrounded by so much love and support that we are confident we can get through this.  Thank you for being that support.  Thank you for praying for our family.  We feel your prayers.  And we love you all!  

I will write again when I have more “material.”  

-Joni Allred